Just another night in the Morgendorffer's.
by Mistress of The Night
Summary: Ok. For those of you who read the first chapter and reviewed, i tried *tried* to take that advice and use it to improve on my mistakes. Second chapter, second go, r
1. Default Chapter

Sarah Fitzgerald

DISCLAIMER-None of these characters are mine. Obviously.

****

Chapter 1

"Dariaaaaaaa", The nasal voice called down the stairs, "Have you seen where my hair curler is?"  
"Um no Quinn, have you looked in your hair?"  
"Never mind, I found it"  
"Such beauty and intellignce" quipped Jane  
"Dariaaaaaaaaaa, have you seen my briefcase?"  
"Now look honey, about tonight's business dinner.."  
"Not now Jake, can't you see I'm busy?"  
"Do you wanna go to my house?" asked Jane  
"Sure" I replied

Walking past the football field the school football team were hard at practice

"But babe.."  
"No Kevin, you can't wear my jumper" squeaked Brittany  
"But it's got the team colours and everything!"  
"AND GO TEAM!"

****

thud

"Oh that glorious bone crunching sound, it gets me every time" said Jane "Do you think the entire football teams IQ reaches the substantial level of 80?"  
"I doubt it" I replied  
We walked into Janes house, strangely soothing sounds coming from the resident philosopher, songwriter vocalist and guitarist of Mystik Spiral, Trent, reached our ears.  
"I bought a rabbit, you wanna see?" asked Jane  
"Um suuuure, ok"  
"Her names Mixie"  
"As in myxomatosis?" I asked  
"Yeah, hey the Mystikal Spirals are playing in a pub in town this weekend"  
"Really? They got a gig?"  
"Yeah, they were more surprised than I was"  
"Is it for a funeral?"  
"Very funny"  
"Quinn's sleepover will be starting about now, I bet they're doing something in the bathroom"  
"Don't you just know it"

  
"This mirror makes me look fat!" exclaimed Stacy  
"No, it's your butt that makes you look fat" explained Sandi  
"Sandi don't be mean! We'll help you to lose that extra weight Stacy" Quinn smiled  
"Hey Quinn it's that weird girl that lives in your house again"  
"What did you say Tiffany?"  
"You know, that weird girl, the one you said wandered in off the street"  
"Oh um her..yeah, we found out she was, uh a, distant relative, a 7th cousin 4 times removed or something"  
"So that would make her your…"  
"Does this skirt make me look fat?"  
"Just a bit" said Tiffany, distracted "I bet if you pin it here and…"  
"Oh look, it's the future contestents for Jerry Springer, right here in my house, I should be honoured"   
"Oh Daria, your home already…so early? Didn't you know that we were having a slumber party here?"  
"I was hoping it wasn't true"  
"Well can you, you know go out again, just until were finished?"  
"What would you like me to do Quinn, wander the streets and scavenge like I did last night?"  
"Ewwwwwwww" chorused the Fashion Club  
"That's right, I ate out of bins, and I slept in a bus shelter, like I do every Friday night, because I have no life"  
"Daria is seeing someone.."  
"Except he couldn't deal with my manic depressive tendencies and he hung himself after I took all of his antidepressants to sell on the black market"  
"..A professional..psy..psyco…psyco…psycopathic…um.."  
"..Do you mean a psychic, Quinn?" asked Stacy  
" A psychic is one of those people who talks to dead people Stacy" explained Sandi  
"Does Daria talk to dead people? That's so weird!"  
"Um hello, I am standing here, and nice as it is of you to waste the limited cerebral functions of your brains, you should think about something worthwhile, like abolishing famine, or deep cleansing or something equally meaningful."  
"Daria's right" said Quinn  
"I am?"  
"We really should deep cleanse, I mean it's been at least 3 days since I refined my pores.."  
Walking upstairs to the sound of giggling and the click of lipstick being opened, was the first time I seriously considered  
seeing a psychiatrist.

****

Next Morning

"Jake honey, where's the high powered, energy enhancing, super vitamised, healthy, 3-meals-in-one, dietary suppliment?"  
"You mean these things I've been drinking all morning?"  
"Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!"  
"What! I thought these would reduce my stress level. Oh good morning Daria"  
"Good morning, that's a contradiction in terms. What is good about this morning, oh wait, you didn't pick up on my obviously subtle and manipulative hints did you?"  
"Morning Dariaaaaaaaa" said Quinn  
"No…obviously not"  
"Uh mom"  
"Yes Quinn?"  
"I'm going to the library to study tonight"  
"Study what?"  
"Um, stuff"  
"Like what?"  
"Stuff you study!"  
"Yes Quinn, I gathered that, but what kind of stuff?"  
"School stuff?"  
"Uh mom?"  
"Yes Daria"  
"Jane and I are going um, on a socially broadening experience to enhance and fine tune our musical listening skills"  
"Okkkkk…"  
Walking down the street it occurred to me how gullible my biological parents actually were, I mean do they really believe Quinn is going to the library? Maybe their aliens or something, I saw this program on Sick Sad World about aliens that inhabit out planet. They walk among us and act really normal so we can't tell them apart from the rest of us humanoids. The again, I guess that means Quinn can't be an alien, because she doesn't act normal, but then again, maybe she's a really stupid alien..  
"Penny for your thoughts?" interrupted Jane  
"Didn't you switch over the dollars and cents system like the rest of us?"   
"Fine.." Jane looked in her pockets "How about a half chewed pen lid, a ball of lint and a gun wrapper for your thoughts?"  
"Ohhh lint balls, just what I wanted"  
"Ha-ha"  
"I was considering the possibility of Quinn and my biological parents being the products of Alien infiltration and a plot to take over Earth."  
"You were watching Sick Sad World again wern't you."  
"It's bad for my mental health if I skip a day"  
"Since when did you worry about your mental health?"

"Since I realised I was thinking up ways to send Quinn to Austria"  
"Good point"  
"So um, is Trent going to drive us?"  
"Yeah, if he can drag himself out of bed"  


"Hey Daria"  
"Hi Trent"  
"How are you?"  
"Eh, ok"  
"Ready to roll?" asked Jane  
"Sure thing" I replied

Arriving at the pub we looked about as out of place as tofu in a butchers. It was worth it though, Mystikal Spiral were amazing on stage, it was so utterly depressing. What is this squishy feeling inside me? No, could it be..remorse? like that time when me and Quinn were little and I was pushing her on the swing, and I accidentally pushed her too hard and she fell off and broke her nose…I doubt it.

"Hey Daria"  
"Yes Jane"  
"That old bum man is looking at you"  
"Which one?"  
"The drunk one"

"Grandpa??? Wait, no. Never mind, my bad"  
"These people are weird"  
"Weird is good"  
"No, not like us"  
"Oh, bad weird"  
"Yeah."  


After being driven home by Trent Quinn and I decided to order out because our parents were at some business meeting.  
"Hey Daria, let's get pizza"  
"Ok."  
"How about one of those…ones with the deep bases?"  
"Mm ok"  
"Without the fishy things"  
"Anchovies"  
"Yeah, they suck"   
"Ok"  
"And without pineapple and mushroom, their gross, and no red meat, I don't eat red meat"  
"Since when?"  
"Since Sandi told me it's the main cause for acne in teenage girls"  
"Riiiiiiight."  
"And no chicken"  
"Why no chicken?"  
"Because of that disease, you know the ones chickens get!"  
"Chicken pox?"  
"Yeah!!!"  
"And no cheese because It gets all stringy and stuck in your hair"  
"….Cheese…stuck in you hair..right"  
"So do you want to call or should I?"  
"Lets get this straight Quinn were getting a deep based pizza, with no sausage peperoni, anchovies, pineapple, ham, mushroom, chicken or cheese?"  
"That sounds good"  
"So were having a pizza base with tomato sauce"  
"Ummmm…"  
"Didn't mom leave something for dinner?"  


After that refreshing conversation with Quinn I decided to start on my homework, a short explanation of my family.  
Well in my family there my sister Quinn, and my parents, Jake and Helen.  
Quinn is a popular, upbeat, apparently attractive (I don't see it myself) teenager who is vice president of the fashion club.  
Apparently Quinn is a "people person" what that means, I will never know. Basically Quinn and I are opposites and if  
anyone ever tells you that opposites attract they have obviously never been outside of their cage.  
My dad is an overstressed marketing consultant, and together they believe the positive parenting is the way to go, which is possibly why Quinn is so screwed up, my mom is a workaholic lawyer who once told me "As long as theirs a will theirs a way"

After my homework I decided to go to bed, as I drifted off to the sounds of

"But mooom!"  
"No Quinn, you cannot have $6000 to fix your nose, theirs nothing wrong with it"  
"Remember that time Daria was pushing me on the swing and…"  


Just another night in the Morgendorffer's.


	2. A visit to the psychiatrist

Chapter 2 ****

Chapter 2

Daria is at home calling a psychiatrist's after thinking that there might be a tiny grain of substance in what people say about her. Anyway even if there isn't it might be fun to check out how it goes.

Picking up the phone I dialled the number for Dr Fanjove's office. I fiddled with the phone cord, wrapping it around my fingers as I waited for the receptionist to answer. I finally heard the upbeat, perky happy voice of "Caroline" that just made me want to throw up.

"Good afternoon Dr Fanjove's office" chirped Caroline

"Uh, hi my names Daria and I'd like to make an appointment" I replied

"Press 1 or 2 for multi personality disorders, press 3 repeatedly if you suffer from obsessive compulsiveness" Spurted the ever-happy Caroline. I realised this must be a recorded message and Caroline was probably meeting her ever-happy boyfriend for a lunch time date to make other people sick over there food. I sighed and stopped fiddling with the phone cord, it now resembled some form of modern art, I waited as the message continued.

"If you are manic depressive all our operators are to busy to take your call. If you are some kind of addict please select your drug of choice-press 5 for alcohol addiction, 6 for nicotine addiction or 7 for narcotic addiction, this will take you through to either alcoholics anonymous, the QUIT line, or narcotics anonymous. If you press 5 or 7 please have your name and address ready so we can mail you some details. If you believe you are a telepath then you must already know what number to press. If however, none of these categories fit you then please hold the line and one of our operators will be with you in a minute. Unless of course you are suicidal, then just hang up because nobody cares what you're going through."

I tapped my foot as I impatiently waited for an operator to pick up, I considered filling my nails but then if Quinn saw me she might think I actually care about my appearance or something equally ridiculous. A few minutes later a bored sounding operator picked up and I said, "Hi my names Daria and I was wondering if I could make an appointment for sometime?"

"Well, gee." Sighed the operator, "I suppose we could fit you in, say, Thursday? At about 4pm?" 

"Sure" I replied. After I hung up I wondered about Thursday, I never thought ahead this far, I mean, what am I actually going to say to this guy? Tell him about my fears for world abomination or my plan to join the aliens in outer space? It was this I debated as I headed upstairs for another dose of Sick Sad World.

****

Thursday afternoon, at school. Daria meets Jane by their lockers to walk home from school.

  
I was pushing all my books from my Maths class into my locker when I heard the telltale shuffle of Jane's shoes approaching. Jane started putting her books into her locker, which is next to mine in silence, when all of a sudden she turned to face me.

"Hey Daria, did you do something to your hair?" asked Jane  
"Uh, is that some kind of sick twisted joke?" I replied  
"Heh." Said Jane "So, what are your plans for this evening?"  
"Oh you know, planning how to either ship Quinn off to Alabama or air post her. Which would be easier do you think?" I said with a smile  
"Air post would be quicker, but shipping easier" Said Jane, knowingly.  
"Or I could just try and shove her into a letter boy and stick a stamp to her forehead" I said  
"Come to think of it" said Jane "That idea is strangely appealing"

We grinned at each other good thing we both see the amusement in shoving Quinn into a small red box with "RETURN TO SENDER" or something similar stamped across her forehead. I said good bye to Jane and started walking to the psychiatrist's office and tried to shake off that feeling of impending doom.

****

At 4pm in Doctor Fanjove's office. Daria is sitting in a chair, in a richly decorated office. Doctor Fanjove is sitting opposite her across a table. There is a pad of paper and 2 pens on the table.

  
Dr Fanjove was my idea of a mad scientist. I was seriously debating the point of being in that office when he spoke.  
"Well Daria, what seems to be the problem?" he asked.  
"Well.." I began, rubbing my fingers along the overly nice upholstery of the chair I was sitting in at that time "Everyone seems to think there's something wrong with me just because I seem to have a slightly different out look on life to the majority."  
"Hmmm…" said Dr Fanjove, making some marks on the paper in front of him, "Let's start at the beginning, I'd like you to draw on this piece of paper here whatever comes to mind, just right off the top of your head." He pushed a piece of paper and a pen over to me. I stared at the piece of paper and picked up the pen. 

"Well, art isn't really my forte." I said, "But I'll give it a go I suppose." Trying to be as helpful as possible. I made a few marks of my own on the paper and then just generally scribbled a bit, I was having a pretty good time when I realised Dr Fanjove was looking at me with an interested gaze. 

"So what have we got here?" asked Dr Fanjove, looking at my drawing.  
"Uh, well at first it was a letterbox and then a ship, and then I decided to move away from transport and draw something to represent our government so I drew people blowing each other up. The I thought I might draw something cheerful so I drew Quinn getting onto a plane. Then I thought of that plane disaster that happened awhile ago, the one where every died and I drew that." I explained

"I see." Said Dr Fanjove, "Who is Quinn?"  
"Quinn is a female, born from the combining of my biological mother and biological fathers DNA. I believe that I actually belong to another family entirely but some alien made a stupid mistake and implanted me in the wrong woman." I said  
"Quinn is your sister" confirmed Dr Fanjove "Well Daria I think that's probably enough for now. I'd like to see you again on Tuesday if that's possible for you."  
"I guess so" I nodded. I walked out of Dr Fanjove's office and the woman sitting behind the front desk gave me a plastic smile, I noted the nametag Caroline and tried to figure out how many facelifts she had had in the past 2 years. It would have been a figure between 6 and 7 at least. I left the office and headed home.


End file.
